Thursday, August 12, 2010

Not smoking and the trip through the looking glass.

I have not smoked in one full month (applause). This, according to everyone living: smokers, non-smokers, men, women, young and old, is a good thing. Well, let me tell you something. For something that is supposed to be good, I certainly feel like shit. I mean really, it's been a month. What gives? I figured I'd see some change; feel some positive difference. No. I feel worse.

Being the rational person that I am (stop snickering), I did a search on the side effects of quitting smoking cold turkey. I visited several sites, and they all pretty much said the same thing. Intial symptoms of nicotine withdrawal are irritability and depression. Well, FUCK YOU! I'm happy as a fucking clam! Goddamnit! The sites mention that sleep and even dreams can be affected. Death has stalked my subconscious literally since the day I stopped smoking. My dreams are a nightmare collage of plague, famine, and war with fields, bogs, and cities strewn with piles of bloated, decaying corpses. Needless to say, I'm not getting the rest I need. Couple this with the fact that I can't breathe anymore (?!?), and I'm having a grand old time.

What solution do these sites propose? Drink lots of water and be patient. Oh. Well, thanks for that. That will help my irritability issues for sure!