This is going to be a post about the hard shit people need to do. We're not talking third world stuff like ...say...survival. We're talking first world shit like quitting smoking and losing weight. Or...I guess...survival?
Here's the deal. I quit smoking on December 11, 2011 as I got on a plane to meet my mom and my girlfriend (soon to be my wife, THERE! I SAID IT! I LOVE THE WOMAN AND I'M GOING TO MARRY HER!) Shit. Get control of yourself you putz!
Anyway, back to the original subject, ME. I quit smoking because Rebecca hates that I smoke, and while my mom won't judge...cough...she'll give me the mom "look". There's also the fact that you can't smoke anywhere in California, so it made it easy while I was there. Korea is another story. You could smoke in a fucking surgery room here. I have managed to refrain from smoking so far. I give thanks to my asshole friends who refuse to give me cigarettes despite the fact they smoke (you know who you are motherfuckers! Thank you). They are really taking their revenge because I did the same to them when they were quitting.
Here's the thing, you may quit smoking, but you never quit wanting to smoke. I remember when I got sober the first time. Yes, I didn't drink for three and a half years (fucking AA started me smoking AND made me a better drunk). The thing that was the most difficult about not drinking was seeing the condensation on the outside of a beer bottle. That drove me crazy. It's the same with smoking. I played pool with a non-smoker tonight in a Korean pool hall. It's possible that I lost some of the game we played because I was thinking about bumming a smoke from someone in the hall. I dream about smoking. I think about cigarettes from the time I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night. I was actually talking about this in one of my classes this morning, and one of my students said that her father had quit seven years ago and still thinks about it every day. So, for all you "never-smoked-a-day-in-your-life" motherfuckers, and especially for you "born-again-non-smoker-nazi" motherfuckers, you can kiss my ass because I'm gonna beat this shit and NOT hate people that still smoke!
The next subject is FAT! I am a fat motherfucker and I know it! I'm a lazy ass motherfucker and I know it! I'm pushing 50 and I know it! Well, I suppose I gotta get off my butt and do something about it! Do you know how fucking hard that is? That means I have to restructure my entire fucking life. I have to actually GET OFF MY ASS. I have to change my routine. I have to EXERCISE!
