I'm very excited about opening day of the MLB season, so excited that I'm even watching the St. Louis Cardinals and Miami Marlins (the new name is going to take some getting used to) play their opening day game. However, the luster was taken off the excitement somewhat when they wheeled an obviously very ill Muhammad Ali out to the mound for the opening pitch.
Anyone who watched Ali in his heyday has been moved by his struggle with Parkinson's and his courage in dealing with it publicly. But there comes a time when Ali's handlers need to respect the man's dignity. Ali couldn't stand or speak, and was shaking so violently that he needed help holding the baseball in order to hand it to a Marlins player. The crowd gamely cheered as Ali was wheeled in, but I think his appearance shocked the fans to the point they weren't sure what to do. It was just sad.
There will be plenty of time when this American hero passes to eulogize, commemorate, and, cynically, for the family to milk his legacy for all the cash they can. In the meantime, however, let the man pass his waning years with some dignity.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
"BountyGate" and the Demise of the NFL
Roger Goodell, the commissioner of the National Football League, has handed down the punishment to the N.O. Saints and Gregg Williams for what is now being called "BountyGate". Williams has been suspended indefinitely for his creation of a bounty system - paying players bonuses for taking out opposing players, as well as other plays like interceptions and fumble recoveries - which he has apparently had in place with every team he has coached. The Saints lose head coach Sean Payton for as year, two second-round drafts picks (one this year and one next) and a 500k fine.. No players have yet been suspended or fined as of yet, but it only seems to be a matter of time until that happens. The interesting thing will be if Williams' former teams, the Redskins (already hurting from a questionable $36 million cap hit imposed by the league on the eve of free agency) and Bills, are also penalized for having a bounty system in place during Williams time with them.
Sure, the bounty's are bad form if the idea is to intentionally hurt an opponent with a cheap shot, and many people (if you read the comments section in the first link) seem to think the penalties are too light; that Payton and Williams should be suspended for life, and players guilty of bounty hunting should get jail time (?). Here's my question: what do we do with the player who goes to punish a QB, RB, WR with a devastating hit (70% of why we watch the game in the first place) but no bounty? When do we start fining and suspending players for hitting "too hard"? Isn't pounding your opponent into submission the name of the game? The game has changed so drastically over the last ten years because of "safety concerns" that it's hardly recognizable. Defenses have been so emasculated by the rules protecting QBs and receivers that it is no wonder that a rookie QB - Cam Newton - on a mediocre team can throw for 4,000 yards in a season. Why is a defensive player fined when he lowers his head and hits someone in the chest, but a running back is not fined for doing the exact same thing? I miss the football of my youth when big hits were what the game was about, and it took a brave man to catch balls across the middle of the field when Ronnie Lott or Jack Lambert were on patrol.
I'm a lifelong NFL fan, but I'm rapidly losing interest in the game. Might as well take off the pads and put on flags.
...and so it goes.
Sure, the bounty's are bad form if the idea is to intentionally hurt an opponent with a cheap shot, and many people (if you read the comments section in the first link) seem to think the penalties are too light; that Payton and Williams should be suspended for life, and players guilty of bounty hunting should get jail time (?). Here's my question: what do we do with the player who goes to punish a QB, RB, WR with a devastating hit (70% of why we watch the game in the first place) but no bounty? When do we start fining and suspending players for hitting "too hard"? Isn't pounding your opponent into submission the name of the game? The game has changed so drastically over the last ten years because of "safety concerns" that it's hardly recognizable. Defenses have been so emasculated by the rules protecting QBs and receivers that it is no wonder that a rookie QB - Cam Newton - on a mediocre team can throw for 4,000 yards in a season. Why is a defensive player fined when he lowers his head and hits someone in the chest, but a running back is not fined for doing the exact same thing? I miss the football of my youth when big hits were what the game was about, and it took a brave man to catch balls across the middle of the field when Ronnie Lott or Jack Lambert were on patrol.
I'm a lifelong NFL fan, but I'm rapidly losing interest in the game. Might as well take off the pads and put on flags.
...and so it goes.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Internal Conflicts
From the Law Offices of Lager, Stout & Ale
Re: Cease & Desist/Restraining Orders
Plaintiff: Eric's Stomach
Accused: Eric's Brain
Eric's Stomach, here by referred to as The Plaintiff, has taken action against Eric's Brain, here by referred to as The Accused for the following abuses:
1. Flippantly referring to the Plaintiff as "Cast Iron" thus raising expectations of continuous performance to unsustainable levels.
2. Forcing the Plaintiff to absorb repeated carpet bombing from both solid and liquid weapons of mass destruction.
3. Unrealistically expecting the Plaintiff to regularly work overtime while the Accused simply sleeps.
The Plaintiff demands the Accused cease and desist from the procurement and imbibing of all alcoholic products. A restraining order prohibiting the Accused within arms length of any and all alcohol will also be in place until the Plaintiff has recovered sufficiently from the last 30 years of abuse.
Should the Accused fail to comply with the above terms, the Plaintiff reserves the right to wage gastric war on the Accused until said Accused is a sobbing mass of liquefied goo.
The Plaintiff does stipulate that a warning shot across the bow was committed before these proceedings were put in to motion, but that it was only in self-defense.
The Accused simply feels put upon.
And so it goes...
Re: Cease & Desist/Restraining Orders
Plaintiff: Eric's Stomach
Accused: Eric's Brain
Eric's Stomach, here by referred to as The Plaintiff, has taken action against Eric's Brain, here by referred to as The Accused for the following abuses:
1. Flippantly referring to the Plaintiff as "Cast Iron" thus raising expectations of continuous performance to unsustainable levels.
2. Forcing the Plaintiff to absorb repeated carpet bombing from both solid and liquid weapons of mass destruction.
3. Unrealistically expecting the Plaintiff to regularly work overtime while the Accused simply sleeps.
The Plaintiff demands the Accused cease and desist from the procurement and imbibing of all alcoholic products. A restraining order prohibiting the Accused within arms length of any and all alcohol will also be in place until the Plaintiff has recovered sufficiently from the last 30 years of abuse.
Should the Accused fail to comply with the above terms, the Plaintiff reserves the right to wage gastric war on the Accused until said Accused is a sobbing mass of liquefied goo.
The Plaintiff does stipulate that a warning shot across the bow was committed before these proceedings were put in to motion, but that it was only in self-defense.
The Accused simply feels put upon.
And so it goes...
Friday, February 10, 2012
Some Things Never Change. 1993? 2012?
American Jesus
Bad Religion
I don't need to be a global citizen
Because I'm blessed by nationality
I'm a member of a growing populace
We enforce our popularity
There are things that seem to pull us under and
There are things that drag us down
But there's a power and a vital presence
That's lurking all around
We've got the American Jesus
See him on the interstate
We've got the American Jesus
He Helped build the president's estate
I feel sorry for the Earth's population
'cuz so few live in the USA
At least the foreigners can copy our morality
They can visit, but they cannot stay
Only precious few can garner the prosperity
It makes us walk with renewed confidence
We've got a place to go when we die
and the architect resides right here
We've got the American Jesus
Fostering their share of hate
We've got the American Jesus
Overwhelming millions every day
He's the farmers barren fields
The force the army wields
The expression on the faces of the starving millions
The power of the man
He's the fuel that drives the Klan
He's the motive and the conscience of the murderer
He's the preacher on TV
The false sincerity
The form letter that's written by the big computer
He's The nuclear bombs
The kids with no moms
And I'm fearful that he's inside me, Yeah!
We've got the American Jesus
See him on the interstate
We've got the American Jesus
Exercising his authority
We've got the American Jesus
Fostering their share of hate
We've got the American Jesus
Overwhelming millions every day, YEAH!One nation. Under God (repeat)
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Departmental Review
"I Just Don't Get It" Dept.:
The constant battle over same sex marriage is once again in the news as a California state appellate court over turned Prop 8, which banned same-sex marriage in California. The courts reasoning is that same-sex marriage was allowed, albeit briefly, in California and, under the Equal Protection Clause, once a right is given, it can't then be taken away. This case will now most likely head to the Supreme Court where the outcome is anyone's guess. Will the Supremes allow political/personal bias to color their judgement, or will they be able to objectively decide this on the basis of Constitutional law. If I had to lay odds, the court will overturn the appellate court 5-4 on the strength of the current bench's conservative tilt.
My problem with the whole issue is that I just don't see what the big deal is. People say that gay or lesbian couples getting married will ruin the sanctity of the institution of marriage. Really? And heterosexual couples have been doing such a good job? Let's ask that paragon of family values, Newt Gingrich. Or, to be fair, should we talk to Bill Clinton about the sanctity of the marriage bed? A quick Google search for divorce statistics show that while the divorce rate is the lowest it's been in years: approx. 37% down from close to 50%. This is not because people are entering into more stable relationships; it is basically because fewer people are getting married.
Let's face the facts, a successful marriage requires a great deal of hard work. As my ex-wife's grandmother once said after being married to one of the grumpiest men in history for 51 years, "Don't worry dears, it's the first 52 years that are the hardest." That said, if two people, regardless of sexual orientation, are willing to take on that kind of commitment, then more power to 'em.
"Blessed by the Evil High Priest of Metal" Dept.:
Judas Priest brought their Epitaph Tour to Korea last weekend and KICKED BUTT! After forty years of touring, the mighty Priest has decided to call it quits. However, they are definitely going out with a bang. Priest played for 2.5 hours and played a great selection of songs spanning their entire career including my personal favorites: "Pain Killer" and Joan Baez's "Diamonds & Rust". One of the highlights of the show came when they played "Breakin' The Law". Rob Halford, who is the "Evil High Priest of Metal", simply turned the mic towards the crowd who sang the entire song at full scream! It was awesome!
Set List:
1. Rapid Fire
2. Metal Gods
3. Heading Out To The Highway
4. Judas Rising
5. Starbreaker
6. Victim Of Changes
7. Never Satisfied
8. Diamonds & Rust
9. Prophecy
10. Night Crawler
11. Turbo Lover
12. Beyond The Realms Of Death
13. The Sentinel
14. Blood Red Skies
15. The Green Manalishi (With The Two Pronged Crown)
16. Breaking The Law
17. Painkiller
Encore
18. Electric Eye
19. Hell Bent For Leather
Encore 2
20. You've Got Another Thing Comin'
Encore 3
21. Living After Midnight
"Goin' back to Daejeon, to Daejeon" Dept.:
Starting in March, I will be changing jobs and working at Woosong University in Daejeon. This is a great move for me in that it gets me the Hell out of Gongju for one, but offers a great opportunity in the form of a masters degree in TESOL-MAL, which in turn, hopefully will improve my chances of finally getting a job in Taiwan. There are good and bad things about this move. The good is the above mentioned masters as well as more pay and off-campus housing (and close to the baseball stadium!). The not so good is that there is less vacation time. All in all this will be a positive move, and I'm looking forward to it.
The constant battle over same sex marriage is once again in the news as a California state appellate court over turned Prop 8, which banned same-sex marriage in California. The courts reasoning is that same-sex marriage was allowed, albeit briefly, in California and, under the Equal Protection Clause, once a right is given, it can't then be taken away. This case will now most likely head to the Supreme Court where the outcome is anyone's guess. Will the Supremes allow political/personal bias to color their judgement, or will they be able to objectively decide this on the basis of Constitutional law. If I had to lay odds, the court will overturn the appellate court 5-4 on the strength of the current bench's conservative tilt.
My problem with the whole issue is that I just don't see what the big deal is. People say that gay or lesbian couples getting married will ruin the sanctity of the institution of marriage. Really? And heterosexual couples have been doing such a good job? Let's ask that paragon of family values, Newt Gingrich. Or, to be fair, should we talk to Bill Clinton about the sanctity of the marriage bed? A quick Google search for divorce statistics show that while the divorce rate is the lowest it's been in years: approx. 37% down from close to 50%. This is not because people are entering into more stable relationships; it is basically because fewer people are getting married.
Let's face the facts, a successful marriage requires a great deal of hard work. As my ex-wife's grandmother once said after being married to one of the grumpiest men in history for 51 years, "Don't worry dears, it's the first 52 years that are the hardest." That said, if two people, regardless of sexual orientation, are willing to take on that kind of commitment, then more power to 'em.
"Blessed by the Evil High Priest of Metal" Dept.:
Judas Priest brought their Epitaph Tour to Korea last weekend and KICKED BUTT! After forty years of touring, the mighty Priest has decided to call it quits. However, they are definitely going out with a bang. Priest played for 2.5 hours and played a great selection of songs spanning their entire career including my personal favorites: "Pain Killer" and Joan Baez's "Diamonds & Rust". One of the highlights of the show came when they played "Breakin' The Law". Rob Halford, who is the "Evil High Priest of Metal", simply turned the mic towards the crowd who sang the entire song at full scream! It was awesome!
Set List:
1. Rapid Fire
2. Metal Gods
3. Heading Out To The Highway
4. Judas Rising
5. Starbreaker
6. Victim Of Changes
7. Never Satisfied
8. Diamonds & Rust
9. Prophecy
10. Night Crawler
11. Turbo Lover
12. Beyond The Realms Of Death
13. The Sentinel
14. Blood Red Skies
15. The Green Manalishi (With The Two Pronged Crown)
16. Breaking The Law
17. Painkiller
Encore
18. Electric Eye
19. Hell Bent For Leather
Encore 2
20. You've Got Another Thing Comin'
Encore 3
21. Living After Midnight
"Goin' back to Daejeon, to Daejeon" Dept.:
Starting in March, I will be changing jobs and working at Woosong University in Daejeon. This is a great move for me in that it gets me the Hell out of Gongju for one, but offers a great opportunity in the form of a masters degree in TESOL-MAL, which in turn, hopefully will improve my chances of finally getting a job in Taiwan. There are good and bad things about this move. The good is the above mentioned masters as well as more pay and off-campus housing (and close to the baseball stadium!). The not so good is that there is less vacation time. All in all this will be a positive move, and I'm looking forward to it.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Hard Shit To Do.
Alright, this is a warning to those of you who don't like bad language or non-PC ideas. STOP READING NOW!
This is going to be a post about the hard shit people need to do. We're not talking third world stuff like ...say...survival. We're talking first world shit like quitting smoking and losing weight. Or...I guess...survival?
Here's the deal. I quit smoking on December 11, 2011 as I got on a plane to meet my mom and my girlfriend (soon to be my wife, THERE! I SAID IT! I LOVE THE WOMAN AND I'M GOING TO MARRY HER!) Shit. Get control of yourself you putz!
Anyway, back to the original subject, ME. I quit smoking because Rebecca hates that I smoke, and while my mom won't judge...cough...she'll give me the mom "look". There's also the fact that you can't smoke anywhere in California, so it made it easy while I was there. Korea is another story. You could smoke in a fucking surgery room here. I have managed to refrain from smoking so far. I give thanks to my asshole friends who refuse to give me cigarettes despite the fact they smoke (you know who you are motherfuckers! Thank you). They are really taking their revenge because I did the same to them when they were quitting.
Here's the thing, you may quit smoking, but you never quit wanting to smoke. I remember when I got sober the first time. Yes, I didn't drink for three and a half years (fucking AA started me smoking AND made me a better drunk). The thing that was the most difficult about not drinking was seeing the condensation on the outside of a beer bottle. That drove me crazy. It's the same with smoking. I played pool with a non-smoker tonight in a Korean pool hall. It's possible that I lost some of the game we played because I was thinking about bumming a smoke from someone in the hall. I dream about smoking. I think about cigarettes from the time I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night. I was actually talking about this in one of my classes this morning, and one of my students said that her father had quit seven years ago and still thinks about it every day. So, for all you "never-smoked-a-day-in-your-life" motherfuckers, and especially for you "born-again-non-smoker-nazi" motherfuckers, you can kiss my ass because I'm gonna beat this shit and NOT hate people that still smoke!
The next subject is FAT! I am a fat motherfucker and I know it! I'm a lazy ass motherfucker and I know it! I'm pushing 50 and I know it! Well, I suppose I gotta get off my butt and do something about it! Do you know how fucking hard that is? That means I have to restructure my entire fucking life. I have to actually GET OFF MY ASS. I have to change my routine. I have to EXERCISE! I have to find the time in my day to do healthy things and eat healthy food. God forbid! You know how hard that is to do? To change your entire fucking routine.. No more large pizzas! Small only! Getting my ass to the gym! I HATE THE FUCKING GYM!
Anyway, I'm talking to my babe on Skype. I got to to go.
This is going to be a post about the hard shit people need to do. We're not talking third world stuff like ...say...survival. We're talking first world shit like quitting smoking and losing weight. Or...I guess...survival?
Here's the deal. I quit smoking on December 11, 2011 as I got on a plane to meet my mom and my girlfriend (soon to be my wife, THERE! I SAID IT! I LOVE THE WOMAN AND I'M GOING TO MARRY HER!) Shit. Get control of yourself you putz!
Anyway, back to the original subject, ME. I quit smoking because Rebecca hates that I smoke, and while my mom won't judge...cough...she'll give me the mom "look". There's also the fact that you can't smoke anywhere in California, so it made it easy while I was there. Korea is another story. You could smoke in a fucking surgery room here. I have managed to refrain from smoking so far. I give thanks to my asshole friends who refuse to give me cigarettes despite the fact they smoke (you know who you are motherfuckers! Thank you). They are really taking their revenge because I did the same to them when they were quitting.
Here's the thing, you may quit smoking, but you never quit wanting to smoke. I remember when I got sober the first time. Yes, I didn't drink for three and a half years (fucking AA started me smoking AND made me a better drunk). The thing that was the most difficult about not drinking was seeing the condensation on the outside of a beer bottle. That drove me crazy. It's the same with smoking. I played pool with a non-smoker tonight in a Korean pool hall. It's possible that I lost some of the game we played because I was thinking about bumming a smoke from someone in the hall. I dream about smoking. I think about cigarettes from the time I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night. I was actually talking about this in one of my classes this morning, and one of my students said that her father had quit seven years ago and still thinks about it every day. So, for all you "never-smoked-a-day-in-your-life" motherfuckers, and especially for you "born-again-non-smoker-nazi" motherfuckers, you can kiss my ass because I'm gonna beat this shit and NOT hate people that still smoke!
The next subject is FAT! I am a fat motherfucker and I know it! I'm a lazy ass motherfucker and I know it! I'm pushing 50 and I know it! Well, I suppose I gotta get off my butt and do something about it! Do you know how fucking hard that is? That means I have to restructure my entire fucking life. I have to actually GET OFF MY ASS. I have to change my routine. I have to EXERCISE!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Surprising and not so surprising.
The surprising thing is that it's November 7th and about 20-25 C (75-80 F) outside. This has to be one of the mildest winters since I've been in Korea. However, I get the feeling that when the other shoe drops, it's going to drop hard.
The not so surprising thing is that the Redskins got beat by the 49ers. The Skins offense is atrocious. You know you're bad when the longest play from scrimmage is a pass tipped at the line of scrimmage and luckily caught by a running back for 17 yards. The Redskins have now scored a whopping 29 points in THREE games. If the Skins lose next week against the win-less Miami Dolphins, the downward slide will turn into an avalanche.
And so it goes...
The not so surprising thing is that the Redskins got beat by the 49ers. The Skins offense is atrocious. You know you're bad when the longest play from scrimmage is a pass tipped at the line of scrimmage and luckily caught by a running back for 17 yards. The Redskins have now scored a whopping 29 points in THREE games. If the Skins lose next week against the win-less Miami Dolphins, the downward slide will turn into an avalanche.
And so it goes...
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